Once again, I almost missed the Great Lenexa Barbecue Battle, but was saved when a co-worker brought it up today. This is a big one, and the Kansas State Championship. It starts in an hour and a half, and they'll be open until 11:00 tonight. Tomorrow they'll be open from 9-5.

I'd just better make sure I don't sleep in too late after bartending tonight. There's also a little local music festival going on tomorrow, $8 with all-you-can-drink beer while it lasts. I still have my camping gear in my car from Bonnaroo, so I guess I just won't bother to unload tonight.

Have a good weekend everybody...

OK, that's it... I'm just heading for the hills right now.

Listening to the radio this morning, I was shocked to hear that a player right out of high school was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers. I mean come on... Do you really expect me to believe that Cleveland has a basketball team? I just don't buy it.

They apparently don't have much of a baseball team either... The Royals completed their sweep of the Cleveland Indians last night, maintaining their one game lead in the AL Central.

Don't worry though Cleveland, you still have the Browns, and pre-season football is 38 days away.

Well, in one fell swoop I've lost $50, what little free time I have left, and any chance of having a girlfriend in the immediate future...

Me in particular... Starting this Sunday, I'll be able to buy beer on Sundays in Lenexa, KS. My hometown of Shawnee just voted to lift its Sunday ban.

Also, as of two days ago, I have keys to the bar. It's a proud day in every man's life when he gets the keys to his very first bar...

Since I haven't updated the Weight Chart in almost a full year, maybe this site will get me motivated again.

For the record, I have fluctuated +/- ten pounds of where I left off last July for the last year. This morning I weighed in almost exactly where I was on my last entry on the chart. Still need to drop another five pounds or so and keep it off before I can get my tattoo. And I need to get down further from there, too...

This story on the legal battle over TNN's name change to "Spike TV" gives me with the opportunity to present a quote out of context for humorous effect, without even having to Dowdify:

Jones' father had hits with the songs "Yes, We have No Bananas," "Der Fuehrer's Face" and "Don't Hit Your Grandma With a Shovel." "Weird Al" Yankovic might be considered his musical descendant.

No trial date has been set.

Thanks, I'll be here all week...

I guess I was a bit surprised when I read over at michele's place that the Chicago Bears have sold some naming rights and now will be referred to, whenever possible, as "Bears football presented by Bank One".

Oh well, at least some things are still sacred...

Or maybe not...

Well, I did manage to get Episode 3 recaptured at probably the best quality I'll ever be able to get out of those old VHS tapes. I'm having some problems getting it converted to Quicktime, but I bet I'll be able to get those ironed out this evening. Then maybe I'll spend some more time redesigning the pages for the shows themselves.

Ah, the joys of living in the past...

I plan on doing some work on the website this weekend. After learning how well Young Pups is doing in the lucrative Suburban Chicago High School Key Club President demographic, I'm recommitted to finally recapturing the shows. The video that I have up there was encoded almost three years ago and optimized for a 56K modem. I have better bandwidth, more storage, and a better video card now, so I bet I could get some better quality video up there. I'll try to at least re-do Episode 3 now.

Also, various static pages need to be updated to the new template, as some of them are three redesigns behind the rest of the site.

Of course, this will probably turn out just like every other time I said I was going to do work on the site. I can really feel it this time, though. Maybe I'll do the old semi-annual Windows wipe-and-reinstall on my Windows machine this weekend, too.

I've been tired all week, even though most nights I've actually been getting a fair amount of sleep. I guess I am actually getting to sleep though, since I had a dream last night...

No really, I swear... I didn't... It was this fella...

And what do you know, it's even right...

CHARLIE - Dr. Science's faithful assistant, you'd
follow him to the ends of the earth and beyond,
even if he repays you by shoving you out an
airlock.


What character from Dr. Science are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I never really had much of an opinion on the whole Faith Based Initiative thing... If we're going to give government grants to private organizations that do charitable work, I don't see why religious groups should be excluded. I was just wondering what was going to happen when the Church of Satan applied for funding for their soup kitchen.

Well, it's not the Church of Satan, but I guess the Scientoloists are close enough to make the point. Tom Cruise is apparently in Washington right now lobbying for funds for Scientology under the faith-based plan and against European anti-Scientology policies.

Will he get funds? Probably not... It would be interesting to hear the explanation why, though...

So Lileks is asking people to photoshop his picture and promises to use the best images in his columns in the Star Tribune.

He's mentioned that he'd like the picture to end up on Fark to have their photoshoppers go at it... I went and tried to submit it, but noticed this on the Fark submission form:

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

Geocities (can't handle the traffic)
Ananova (long story)
Any site requiring logins to read articles, including New York Times/Chicago Tribune/Dallas Morning News

Unfortunately, that includes the Strib website... I'd mirror the picture and do up a quick post linking to some good Lileks columns, but I host this website behind my cable modem, and doubt I could handle the traffic that a Fark photoshop contest would generate.

Is there anybody out there with a better web host than I that would be willing to take the hit to get Lileks up on Fark?

Update: Nevermind... Somebody has beat me to it...

OK, genetic engineering in crops has as of today officially gone too far.

This is starting to get ridiculous. I went to bed at 8:00 last night, and still woke up at 6:00 this morning exhausted. I even tried some Valerian Root two nights ago, but no luck. Oh well, these things seem to come in spurts anyway... I almost never have trouble getting to sleep, but I never feel like I got a full night of sleep, even when I do.

But that's about all that's going on over here. I get to bartend again either tomorrow night or next Friday. I think I have some friends coming out to see the bar when I bartend. I've warned them thoroughly that to call the place I work a dive gives dives a bad name, but they insist on coming out to see for themselves. Well, they do have the jam session on Friday nights, and that can be very good if the right people show up. Also, I'll finally get to see what business is like on a non-holiday friday night.

Since I went to bed early tonight, I didn't go through my pictures or start writing a review, but I'll give you the quick story... I had a blast and I saw a lot more music than I saw last year. Performances that stood out in my mind came from Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, moe. (It was the first time I saw them, and they were incredible), and Spearhead. There was plenty more good music there, but those are the three that I most walked away remembering.

Those of you lucky enough to live in the LA area need to make sure to head over to The Doll Hut in Anaheim tomorrow to catch your dose of authentic Hillbilly Music from Big Smith. But don't take my word for it, take the word of... Um... Some random person from San Francisco...

You guys are GREAT!

When my friend said you were good and dragged me to the show at Thee Parkside, I had my doubts. But about 10 seconds into the first song I was hooked! Why, oh, why do you have to live so far away?!? Please, please consider making a San Francisco trip again in the future.

Love ya,
Fungus

P.S. The show in Newman and the Make-Out room were great too. :-)

But I see how it is... The boys can take their little trips to California and to Texas, but they can't spare any time in their busy schedule for a KC or Lawrence show... Why have you forsaken us?

The Asia Carerra category was when I was going to have Asia Carerra week as penance for putting Roj Jeremy's picture on here once. I got as far as adding the category, then got bored of it.

Well, I made it out here and am having a good time so far. Also, since I've managed to not destroy my camera, I should be coming back with some decent pictures, too. The promised rainstorms haven't materialized yet, and I've gotten far too much sun in the last couple of days.

Well, more sunscreen tomorrow. At least I have been doing good with shade and water. I'm not dragging like I was last year at about this time.

As for music, I've enjoyed Bela Fleck more than anybody so far. Tortoise was pretty good, but I'm still looking forward to the evening block tomorrow. Medeski, Martin and Wood midnight to four, and Particle from four to sunup, I hope...

Since Ryan is at Bonnaroo this weekend, I was going to assume his posting duties. Alas, I am also going out of town this weekend. While Ryan is soaking up the sun and drowning himself in American counter-culture, I will be doing the same in American hyperculture. Vegas, baby, Vegas!

So how come I can post to Ryan's website? Is this some form of Pirate TV gone wrong? Nope. When I became the controlling shareholder of Gimpysoft.com stock on Blogshares, Ryan gave me the keys to the kingdom. Why did I wait this long to post? Because I'm lazy.

I did speak with Ryan briefly yesterday when he was on his way to Bonnaroo. He was eyeing the cute girls in a car next to him that were also on their way there (as was made obvious by the proliferation of Phish and Dead stickers on their car). His plan was to drive behind the girls for the rest of the trip so that he would end up parking next to them in the lot and end up with a tent space right next to them. My guess is that way he will be that much closer to people having sex.

Speaking of voyeurism (as I often do), did I mention that one of Ryan's categories for classifying posts is Asia Carrera? Now I know what kind of porn to get him for his next birthday.

Well, that is all. I must pack. Expect periodic postings from me if Ryan does not excommunicate me.

The Great and Powerful Raj

P.S. No Eden, I did not choose this moniker as an ego boost. I did so because not much else rhymes with Raj other than Oz.

This seemed to have gone away for a while, but I'm seeing more and more of it lately... Where the hell did contrast go? How can somebody be at the same time smart enough to write a computer program modelling a four-dimensional analog to the Rubik's Cube, but too dumb to realize that you can't read black text on a dark grey background?

I shouldn't have to select all the text I want to read on a web page just so I can read it without going blind. Admittedly, I'm not #000000 on #FFFFFF here, but at least there's still a fair amount of contrast going on there.

Thank you, that is all...

Old news by now, but I thought Gurney might be interested in the 4-D Rubik's Cube.

It looks like Bonnaroo New England, originally scheduled August 8-10 on the same site that the Field Day Festival was originally supposed to use, has been cancelled.

Well, I wonder if all those extras for this weekend's festival in Tennessee will start getting snatched up now...

From misc.transport.trucking...

Once again it's time for the flea-infested hippies to congregate in Manchester, TN for their music festival (bonnaroo). 100,000 of them will be trying to exit at I-24 Exit 111 and 114. Last year they caused a traffic snarl that reached back toward Nashville some 30 miles. This year is expected to be twice as big, according to ticket sales.

Do yourself a favor and avoid the area. The good news is there is a possibility that the Manchester Scales will be closed due to the problem. The festival is scheduled for Jun 13, 14, and 15. Last year the traffic problem only happened on the day before, that would put it on Wed night this year.

I have a feeling that traffic won't be as bad this year. They have two entrances this time, and I'm hoping they'll know to put the "Festival Traffic Keep Right" signs further back, and actually enforce it so they can keep the left lane clear. Plus, this year I'm heading out to try to get there just about as the gates open.

Plus, I don't think I buy the "twice as big" thing... With so many extras for sale I wonder if it's even going to be full.

Regardless, it'll be a fun weekend, and I hope to see some of you out there. I never found the internet kiosks last year, but I'll try to put in a quick on-the-spot report at some point over the weekend if I get a chance.

Oh yeah, and the weather looks a bit sketchy, but I suppose "Scattered" and "Isolated" Thunderstorms are a better forecast than just "Rain". The little bit of rain we got last year was more refreshing than annoying, but I'm wondering if we'll be getting enought sun at all to ever dry off this weekend.

First off, this bit from one of the recent Lileks Bleats:

Now that Gnat can carry on a conversation, we have interesting little discussions as we drive along.

“Daddy, could we put everything into the fire?”

Uh - no, sweetie. Good Lord, where did that come from? Did her mother check out “Richard Scarry’s Best Gotterdamerung Ever” from the library?

“Just the lamps? Put the lamps in the fire?”

We need the lamps, honey.

Secondly, a couple of Achewood strips... A couple of nights ago, I actually read through their entire archives. Three that got me were this one and these two that are just unbearably sad.

I guess that's all I've found amusing recently.

It was mildly disappointing when I found out that this song is a Grateful Dead original... I know it from Cracker's Kerosene Hat album, and always thought it was a Cracker original. I was surprised to find it on a 1977 Grateful Dead show I downloaded recently in my quest to hear some music from every band that's going to be at Bonnaroo before I head out next week.

OK, that's all. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is the sad day that the plaid wallpaper in the computer room comes down. We will all mourn its loss. Have a good weekend, everybody...

When asked by a new co-worker if you go to happy hour with everybody, what is the proper way to respond when you are not invited to said happy hours?

KC is being savaged in a Fark photoshop contest. For there being so many Kansas City Farkers, why have I never seen a Kansas City Fark party organized on there?

Of course, Ultranon's entry makes up for most of the rest...

I will freely admit that the barbecue is overrated up here. My favorite places around here are the ones that come close to some of my favorites in Texas. And I've had some truly bad barbecue up here. I never thought I'd say those words together... "Truly bad barbecue..." It's just sad.

There's nothing like the satisfaction of a job well done...

Hey guys, I've got a great idea! Let's give robots control over our food supply!

Right now, the robots only find weeds and tell the farmer where to put the herbicide. Soon, the robots will apply the herbicide themselves. Next they hope to have the robots uproot the weeds without the use of chemicals. Shortly thereafter, Skynet will realize that all this robotic productivity is being poorly utilized only to feed the hu-mans and will order the robots to uproot crops world-wide.

But don't worry, search and "rescue" robots will be well trained to find you in the rubble caused by the ensuing food riots.

Well, my car is (mostly) fixed, so I am in fact going to make it to Bonnaroo. I managed to get in touch with a group that's heading down from here in town, so I'll be caravaning down and will be camping with some folks that I know. I buy provisions and get my car packed this weekend.

I'll be heading out Wednesday, which should get us there on time. I'm not anticipating the traffic problems we ran into last year happenning again, but you never know. This year I need to:

Sleep more.
Drink less beer.
Drink a lot more water.
See tent shows as much as possible when the sun is out.

There are a couple late-night acts that I absolutely can't miss. Particle plays at 4:00AM Sunday morning, and I'm not going to miss that. I just need to remember to sleep in Saturday.

Due to Gimpysoft's inexplicably high Google search ranking, my review of last year's Bonnaroo has been getting a lot of hits lately. (It must be the weblog effect. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts.) As a matter of fact, for the first time in a while, "Ols*n Twins N*de" is no longer the #1 search string getting people here. I've had fifty people stumble in here searching for "Bonnaroo" in just the last couple of days. As a result, the comments section of that post has become somewhat of an impromptu message board. The comments range from belligerent:

You are a tool. Your comments about Bonnaroo were absurd. You obviously don't know enough about music, and I bet you had a stiff neck the whole time. Experience music for yourself not because someone told you it was good. Sorry.

To nice:

Hey ryan, nice write up. It's what I was looking for, I know the bands but was more curious about the driving, wash, etc. Don't pay mind the mud slingers; they just think they are a little bit better then the rest of us ;-) Maybe I'll seeya this year, just look for the tent under the "Free Old Dirty Bastard" flag.

To rubbing it in slightly:

Thorough, if not a bit tame, write up. However, you missed the three best performances of the entire weekend: Widespread Friday night, and Moe and Galactic on Saturday night. Moe ended and the sun was coming up, coolest show I have ever seen. For future reference, you should ration your energy during the day in order to make the night shows, that's when it gets crazy. Also, if you can, rent, borrow or steal a motorhome, it is worth every single penny. Traffic is not as bad if you wait until Friday morning to approach. You were stuck cause the gates didnt even open until 2:am. Im headed to Bonnaroo NE this year, but TN was da bomb. Good luck.

(Dammit, I know... I will ration my energy this year better...)

To a little odd:

sometimes I see spectacles of blue and white, with dragons of fire creeping through a plastic jungle. I turn. I see. I weep.

To slightly more odd:

Did anybody see on Saturday then that guy who was carrying around the spider monkey? Did anybody see it attack the girl for her Doritos? There was this huge crowd around her, and everybody was standing there like, "what the hell am I seeing?". I was tripping at the time really hard, so I wasn't sure if what I was seeing was real or not. But I think it was. It was like: Monkey: "EEEEEEE!" Girl: "AAAHHHH!" Monkey: "EEEEEEE!" Girl: "AAAHHHH!" Monkey: "EEEEEEE!" Girl: "AAAHHHH!" Monkey: "EEEEEEE!" Girl: "AAAHHHH!" And she threw her chips one way and ran the other. It was one of those things that I'll never forget. Everybody just looked at each other and kept on walking, like nobody wanted to admit what they saw. There were several people who were filming it, and I would love to see the footage. Did anybody else see/hear about this, or was it just the acid?

To some local opinion:

I'm a local and last year there was TONS of people here that you couldn't even get around our "small" town. But this year the traffic should move faster because they've made a new exit and it's easier to get in and out.They'll probably let you in sooner than they did last year because they know how many people they're expecting.The local people didnt mind the noise and distractions and they appreciate that u didnt make any disturbences.This year the music is gonna be great and you need to come and check it out.....ask any questions if u need any details about Manchester.

Well cool... I'm getting geared up. I guess a fifth venue has been added, and if you check out the schedule, you'll notice that most of the acts in the "Other Tent" are still To Be Announced. Kimock doesn't have anything going on next weekend, but Big Smith is going to be out in California. Oh well, those were both pipe dreams. Still plenty of good music to see out there.

Hope to see you guys there...

I listened to Rush Limbaugh in High School and a bit in college. Then I kind of stopped, and didn't tune in again until years later when I was living in Arkansas. I was shocked at how completely insane he had gone. It's not as if his show was ever filled with the most well-reasoned arguments, I remember it mostly being a bunch of silly name-calling. When I listened in Arkansas, he had more or less gone off the deep end. I remember once him playing a clip of a speech by some politician or other that he didn't agree with and following it up by making incoherent noises for a minute or so.

Eh, what was the point of this again? Oh yeah, Talk Radio Makes You Crazy. Now it's done it to Bill O'Reilly.

God, this is the worst post you have written in weeks. You're not actually going to post this, are you? Oh, come on now... Don't change the Post Status to Publish. Just let it go. This is not worth posting to the site. Hey, don't you dare press Save. I swear, if you press...

What do you get when it's time for Hitchens to write a column but he apparently doesn't have much to say? You get this, with ramblings about genitalia-based ID cards ("But if it was a pudenda shot that we all carried, and I was to open my fly for confirmation, they'd know me next time all right.") and weird reflections on acronyms.

Relix News: Phish to Sing the National Anthem at NBA Finals

Phish will sing the National Anthem at Game 4 of the NBA Finals, which takes place Wednesday, June 11 at Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, NJ. The game will be televised on ABC TV at 8 p.m. ET as the New Jersey Nets take on the San Antonio Spurs.

ABC NBA Finals Schedule:

8:00 - Intro/Pre-Game Commentary
8:05 - The National Anthem performed by Phish
8:52 - Tip-off